Have you ever known an Italian mother? You know the kind that you see in the movies where they take insult when you can't possibly eat another bite of food from your plate? The kind that give you second helpings and then thirds before you can say, "STOP!"?
Apparently the volunteers who take the juice cart around... are all Italian.
"Would you like some juice dear?"
"No thank you. Not right now."
"Would you like a cookie?"
"No, really. They look wonderful but I am quite allergic to eggs and so I think I will pass on the cookies."
"How about some tea? Do you drink tea with cream or sugar?"
"No. If I were to have a cup of tea, I would prefer to take it with neither. But I won't be having a cup of tea this morning. I had some before I came. In fact, there is still some in the cup (as I hold up the insulated mug that MJ sent with me that morning)."
"Oh, that must be cold by now my dear. How about we fill it up for you again?"
"It's just fine."
"We have different kinds of ju..."
"No."
"I could check the ingred..."
"No."
The worst part is that they have their tail between their legs when they walk to the next poor person who is going to need to fight them off. Although, this morning I had to laugh. It was a particularily unfun treatment and I was having difficulty retaining anything in my stomach when the Juice Lady came 'round. The older woman who was laying on the bed next to mine, after Juice Lady left, leaned over and said, "it makes them leave faster if you threaten them with a cane. Next time, use mine!"
But, at the end of the day, thank God for the Juice Lady and the Crazy Cane Lady. The Juice Lady keeps me on my toes. In fact, I need to start plotting polite ways of saying "no" tomorrow...
3 comments:
Hey!! Watch what you say about Italian mothers!! We can't help it if we know better than others what is good for them. It's probably because we are so close to God. Hot tea and a cookie screened for toxic egg components might have raised those natural endorphins just a tish higher than the heavy-duty IV drugs could manage. It couldn't hoyt! Everyone needs an Italian mother. Let me know if some poor souls are suffering out there without this benefit. We can talk adoption!
'So, you lika the juice? The juice isa good. Havea some more juice!" You know the poor woman probably went back and took it out on her husband Vito with a rolling pin. 'Vito you imbecile, she no likea the juice. (smack) whata amI gonna do witha 65 cases of juice. (smack) She'll probably come back and lay the guilt on you, next. "So, why don'ta you likea my juice. Why do youa hate me? I slave for months, growing the trees, harvestinga the fruita. I squeeze 'till mya fingers a red to makea this juice for you and you saya no." Then she'll threaten to throw herself in front of a train unless you drink the juice (2 cups)and sample one of her cookies too. That's Mediterranean guilt for you.
ahhh yes. I totally agree Adela. Everyone requires an Italian mother. What I meant to say was that because I have one in Jasper, I do not need another.
However, for all those poor people in the Cross that do not have the priviledge of an Italian mother, the juice ladies provide that for them.
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