Those have got to be two of the most difficult things to remember to do. And even though I am trying to remember how to breathe, I am finding it extremely difficult to walk at the same time. It is so weird... it feels like I am walking in a life that is "SOOO close" to mine, but at the same time, it's not. (Or it feels like it's not mine). It feels as though I am wandering aimlessly around, struggling to stay in between the lines on either side, and concerned about getting to the destination - like finding that I can't trust myself or the path that I am on to get me where I am headed.
Continuing to walk forward, my life seems to nearly touch where I was - having to go back in some of the same directions and places, but not sure why. Instead of the walk being a calming one, I find myself more agitated than ever before... the winding path and the trusting where it is leading.
And, I don't.
I have a "tea time" booked with a good friend and partner in crime late next week and I have promised myself to remain patient and involved until I can think a little more clearly on this.
See, God and I have this "love-hate" relationship going on... I love the fact that God loves me enough to give me a brain and free will, but I hate the fact that I feel the desire to exercise both.
1 comment:
Words of wisdom from my mother, who lived the last 20 years of her (very short) life in a wheelchair/ She carried a card in her wallet that said this, "Look to this day, for in its span are all the important things of life. Yesterday is only a vision and tomorrow is only a dream. But every today, well lived, makes every yesterday a vision of happiness and every tomorrow a dream of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day."
Elizabeth
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