Tonight, I tried to find every excuse not to go to the university chaplaincy service. Seriously. At one point, when I drove by, I decided that the lone parking spot was not big enough for my little car. I did not try to get into it, simply drove down to the end of the lane and back onto the main road. The next time around, when a larger spot had become available, I began freaking out that I recognized another car parked in the lane in front of the church. Frantically texting/calling common contacts that might know whose car this was, the dash board clock read "6:58" when I was firmly informed that the person in question (whose car I *thought* it was) was actually present at another location for another service altogether.
My excuses had been exhausted.
Quietly taking to a pew to wait the rest of the group, there may have been an uttering upwards to the extent of, "I know I'm not ready to sit down and talk with you beyond the superficial, I am only taking small steps. I trust that if this is the right step, you will make that clear. Please do not make it painfully clear... in fact, clear "lite" will suffice".
How much "clearer" can it get when the reflection/sermon/hammered home point is, "in order to be humble before God and to therefore open ourselves to God's grace, we must stay put - stick it out - hang in there. Church hopping, while tempting, will never allow us to live authentically true to ourselves and to God because we never really get a chance to let go of the mask. Let us emulate the monks of St. Benedict, and stay put - where we can strive to be authentic and humble together before God".
Right. Point taken.
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