It's just a piece of paper...

In less than a month, I will walk across a stage, shake some strangers hand, and pick up a piece of paper that says I have officially received my university degree. In facing deadlines in ordering tickets and such, I emailed a friend to find out for sure what her plans were in either attending or not. When she elegantly wrote back to say the timing is less than ideal and she would have to pass, my response to her was simple: "it's okay; at the end of the day, it's just a piece of paper."

It's true. There is nothing in the world that can even come close to capturing the last six years of my life, and most especially, not a mere piece of paper. It is a piece of paper that will probably never be framed and hung on a wall, rather it will sit, packed nicely in a box, and stored in the corner of my closet. It bears the signature of someone whom I will never, personally meet or have a cup of coffee with. People get all excited about receiving this piece of paper. A three hour ceremony, cap and gown, standing and sitting amongst strangers for an entire afternoon - people I will probably, never see again.

My degree is nothing special. It does not give me more relevant wisdom than the man I sit beside on public transit each morning. It does not qualify me as a better citizen, Christian, or friend. It is not unlike the relationships that fill my life; random text messages or emails sent to a friend in which the relationship is merely a ghost of the life-changing journey that was once traversed. It is a piece of paper containing words that are meaningless unless placed in a specific circumstance, much like the communication exchanged between two people who used to have something in common. And most of all, my degree does not give me the answers to the life-agonizing questions that keep me up at night.

The same way that I will stop investing time and effort and concern into relationships that are going nowhere or in which my effort is met with a mere mumble of meaningless words, I find myself wondering if all the hype and hoopla is required in order to get a piece of paper. Because afterall, when the day is done... it's just a piece of paper.

The Economy of Need??

I had to laugh on the way home from campus this morning. It was one of those things that, if I didn't laugh, I would sit in astonishment all the way home while pondering the big/deep questions of life... something that will just have to wait until next week when there are not two assignments and a midterm to write in the next 24 hours.

Have you ever realized that honestly, there are some people who are never content in life?

I mean, if I were going to be fair about it, maybe these people are just having a horribly "off" day and need an extra boost of encouraging from someone... but seriously, oye! Like, realistically, the bus driver can answer questions such as, "do you stop here?" "how often does the bus come by here?" or something pertaining to their route. But this rider wouldn't stop asking questions beyond the scope of knowledge of the poor bus driver. "When will the city bus come by, rather than your suburb bus?" "Is it supposed to rain tonight?" "Why is Safeway's gas more expensive than the other gas stations along this road?"

I understand. The person just needed conversation - someone to talk to and engage. But let's be frank here... of all the people this person could have started a conversation with about the weather and gas prices, the bus driver was not the one with the answers.

I'm willing to bet that we all know someone in our lives who is like this rider; someone who is extremely uncomfortable with silence in a relationship, someone who needs to see you or touch base with you in order to know that life is okay, or someone who searches for meaning through constant interaction with other people, strangers or friends. It's an interesting phenomenon in that, there is more to it than simply being an introvert or extrovert and I'm willing to put the hypothesis forward that there is an underlying economy of need functioning here on a level that is sub-consciously active. We're all like this on some level, we have to be in order to survive, but what causes some to be more invested in this economy than others? Personal choice or extrenuating circumstances?

It will take a bit more research and criterion testing, but this is something I am interested in understanding. Will post findings as I discover them! For now, it's back to studying the two remaining lectures/chapters for tomorrow's exam, praying that I did well on my essay, and pondering (briefly) how I will write two assignments between classes tomorrow!