A few thoughts

So, as means of an update, this whole convocation thing is really throwing a wrench into the plan of continuing to believe that it's "just a piece of paper". There are a few people who were crucial in ensuring that I finished this journey - and none of which are going to be here for the "big" day. Let's see... one of them has purple duties in a small country down under, one of them has purple duties in the city nearby, and two of them live virtually, across the country. At the end of the day, I continue to tell myself that it is not a big deal and it is *just* a piece of paper. An expensive one, no doubt, but it is simply a symbol.

I am reminded of an evening in which I tried to teach the concept of a symbol to a group of youth who were preparing for a sacrament within the church. My definition has always been pretty traditional in that a symbol is a sign; a symbol points us to something bigger, more inspirational, and often, a lot more meaningful.

We were talking about what symbols were - how roadsigns symbolized a significant traffic condition (high fatality location, slippery surface when wet/cold, oncoming traffic, one way, etc) and how the sacrament we were about to celebrate together was very much representative of something more meaningful and powerful in their faith journey than simply a loaf of bread being passed around.

On that note, I totally understand how this whole whoopla is symbolizing something greater, buuuuuut, that doesn't change the fact that it stinks. Like a rotten egg would in warm sunshine.

And, before I leave to conquer the day and change the world, although the people I wish to say this to the most will probably never read it (or not read it for a very long time), I shall say it anyway.

"If every word I said

Could make you laugh,

I'd talk forever.

If the song I sing to you

Could fill your heart with joy

I'd sing forever."

(Beach Boys, Forever)

Annnnd to that, I would add,

If every prayer I prayed

Could make you stronger,

I'd pray forever.

If every thought I had

Could ease your pain,

I'd think forever

If every time I wrote

Could close the gap we had,

I'd write forever.

That's all.

Today is a Moth Kinda Day

I'm not sure if it's "moth season" and I cannot pretend to know if certain weather conditions lead to an influx in the moth population, but I DO know that there are a whooooole lotta moths around right now. I did laundry over the weekend (our washer is finally fixed!!) and hung the clothes out over night, in between evening rain storms. Bringing them into the house on Monday, I have been putting on clothes while simultaneously booting moths out.

Note to self... shake 'em BEFORE bringing them in next time!

While they do not bite, make a lot of noise or creep me out... I cannot help feeling overwhelmed by the swarm of moths in my room, clothing, and life right now.

And, at the same time, I cannot help feeling like a moth myself. Reflecting the worldly shades of grey, searching everywhere for a speck of light to lead me home; bumping into everything on my way, wishing to nestle somewhere warm and dark to rest.

I have been told that when someone great dies, especially by surprise, we are entitled to get momentarily lost in a world that will never be the same. The world is allowed to be seen in shades of black, white and grey and the sun is allowed to hide behind the large clouds. The stars will appear to stand still while the music sings in a minor key.

Well, I guess this is just the way things will be for a little while and I should just be okay with bein' a moth.