If only I'd have known that it was to be the last time I would be held in your embrace, I'd have asked to stay just a moment more.
If only I'd have listened when my heart spoke, "I love you" I would have built up the courage to speak such simple words.
If only I could have guessed that the joke would have been the final laugh together, I'd have laughed a little longer.
If only I knew before they past that this Christmas and Easter may be our last, I'd have let go of the worries and troubles of what lay ahead, and surrendered myself to the here and now.
If only I understood that pictures would be all that was to remain, I would have taken a picture of our friendship together, each waking day.
If only I'd have realized that it was to be our last "walk and talk" I would have stopped listening to what you were saying and listen to what you weren't... to truly be there for you in what you were too scared to say a loud.
If only I'd have known, would I do it differently?
Would I have hugged a moment more, or laughed a little longer?
Would I have walked in silence or let pointless worry fall by the waistside?
No. I fear that just as the innocent child believes that Santa Claus is real, I still would have lived in shock, horror, fear, and disbelief, plagued to the grave with guilt and regret.
But if only I'd have known...
Perhaps I would have been graced by the truth that I couldn't have done it alone.
2 comments:
Amen.
Angela, I believe you made me cry. I'll share a song that gives me hope, reminding me that it is never too late.
When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet, silver song of a lark.
Walk on, through the wind,
Walk on, through the rain,
Though your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never walk alone.
Hi Angela,
I'm checking in from MadPriest's blog. Blessings and peace of Christ.
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