The wonder and awe of Christmas lights...

I felt like I was 12 again... Booker in one arm and a mini hot chocolate in the other. There was snow on the ground, Christmas carols playing on the radio, and I was in the company of 'older-sister-who's-leaving-in-a-few-weeks' as we drove through the park in a state of awe and excitement at Christmas lights. It was such an experience, I am getting excited by just thinking about it.

I have spent two nights up thinking about it and re-living the excitement. There were soliders, elves, animals, candles, the Nativity, sports... there were lights and decorations for everyone, every age, every race or religion. There were moving ones and stationary ones. Some of the bulbs were no longer lighting up, but you could still tell what the decoration was and what it was doing.

The timing of the lights was so amazing. They could simulate a football player kicking a ball through for a field goal, and on the other side, the ref would raise both hands in the air to mark success. Or a squirel running through the trees, or Puff the Magic Dragon waving his tail to you... there were no limits to what these Christmas lights could do.

(Are you ready for it... here comes the geeky, nerdy, "I work in the Church" part of the blog...)

These lights, these decorations... are really not that different from us. Sometimes, for reasons unknown to us, some of our bulbs are temporarily burnt out or not shining as bright as the rest of us. That's okay. Why? Because God can still use us in other ways to further the kingdom of God here on earth, perhaps even enduring onward with burnt out lights to strengthen our message of love and forgiveness.

The decorations that move remind us that we need to trust God's timing. If we flash our lights out of order, our movements won't make any sense. If we trust God and light the bulbs he asks to light, when he asks us to light them (or the reverse, trusting that our darkness does not mean our demise)... everything will turn out beautifully. With God, how could it not?

I hit a wall this week. Questions and frustrations surfaced when I met someone who thought that my spiritual journey was one that he could join at any point. Why me? Why now? Why alone? Why do tears burn when they fall? Why this? Why here? Why weakness and fraility? Why? But really, all I need to do is trust. God will work through the lights that aren't working as well as they normally would because that is just what he does. It is God's timing that will bring me through this in a state of grace and presence, and I need to trust that.

Meanwhile, the question I need to ask myself is: What can I do to further God's kingdom - right where I am?

He will do the rest... that is what makes him AWESOME!