A tiny serving of God's grace...

Perhaps it was the fact that my family sat in the same pew every Sunday from the time I was 5 or maybe it had something to do with altar serving almost every Sunday from the day I turned 7... or, who knows... maybe I was just born a church nerd. Whatever it is, intrinsic or learned, I have a deep love and admiration for churches and stained glass windows. I'm not at all shocked to admit that it was through this burning love, I received a tiny portion of God's grace this evening.

I was able to fall asleep but it only took rolling over once to realize that Milkshake the Insanely Massive was still sitting in my stomach and he didn't care much for movement. And so flipping through library books most sanitized, there she be.

Much to my tearful eyes did appear, a picture of the Holy Family illuminated by God's perfect light and radiating God's unexplainable love.

I tried to get up - I needed to tell the world, the entire Alexander clan of this gift of grace and peace that had come over me. Perhaps it's a good thing I didn't because I am still shaking with so much excitement, and bursting at the lips with chocolate milkshake, I probably would have fallen down the stairs. A piece of the broken puzzle has been found! And that piece is me!!

Truth be told, of all the people that could be illuminated the most from the picture, the person I least suspected was Mary, but there she was... full of grace and one with the Lord; holy and blessed and praying over none other... but the Son of God. I sit here and wonder, did Mary know how very special this babe would be? Was she aware of the pain and suffering he would one day face? Did she kiss him good night, and if so, was she really that close with God in heaven? What were her prayers for this child? When she looked down in awe, did she ever wonder, how can I do this? or I'm much to young or what if...? Did she know then just how hard it would be to let go and let God at Calvary? Did she understand the rollarcoaster of emotions that Jesus would carry her through from a panic striken mother to a devout follower and disciple?

I can speculate, but until I meet her in heaven, I will never know. But it doesn't matter because ultimately, at the end of day, whether these questions have known answers or not, Jesus Christ is our Saviour - the one and only... healer and physician of all.

But do you know what is more important than that?

That even taken over by fear, hundreds (I'm sure) of questions, doubt, speculation, hesitancy, frustration and being completely overwhelmed, she said yes to God.

She understood one simple fact and that was that God loved her so much and knew (like really truly knew her) her and... wait for it... amoung all the women God could have chosen, he chose Mary.

The greatest part is that Mary was never alone. Gabriel walked the first stretch with Mary and then it was her cousin Elizabeth. Along came Joseph and then later, Jesus, and at his death - the disciples. Although it probably seemed tough at the time, Mary was truly - never alone. She had support, a mission, and the love of God... that's all she needed.

God could have chosen a million other people to walk in the shoes I am stumbling in now, but he didn't. He chose me, and by golly - I can't let him down. So, with Mary as my guide - with all my Gabriel's, Elizabeth's, Joseph's, JC's, and disciples, I continue forward... embracing each step with as much strength as I can muster.
I have been chosen, I have support, a mission, and the love of God. What more can I ask for?